Good Grief · Ages 8–12
Good Grief Middles
The Primary School Bereavement Kit - supporting memory, identity and connection after loss. Practical, age-appropriate tools that help children aged 8–12 remember, express feelings, preserve connections and make sense of life after the death of someone important in their lives.
About this kit
Grief in the primary school years
The Good Grief Middles Kit has been developed by Noah’s Story Charity to support primary school-aged children - 8 to 12 years - who have experienced the death of someone important in their lives. Grounded in Continuing Bonds Theory and informed by contemporary bereavement research, it provides practical, age-appropriate tools that help children remember, express feelings, preserve connections and make sense of life after loss.
Children in this age group typically have a growing understanding that death is permanent and universal. They may ask more complex questions, worry about the future, or struggle with feelings that can be difficult to express. At the same time, they are developing their sense of identity and increasingly value relationships, memories and belonging. The Middles Kit supports these developmental needs by combining storytelling, remembrance, emotional regulation and creative expression.
Our foundation
Continuing bonds at 8–12
Like every Good Grief Kit, Middles is based on Continuing Bonds Theory (Klass, Silverman & Nickman, 1996) - a widely recognised approach to bereavement support that challenges the belief that healthy grieving requires “letting go” of the person who has died. It is both normal and healthy for children and adults to maintain an ongoing relationship with a loved one who has died through memories, stories, values, rituals and emotional connection.
For children aged 8–12, continuing bonds often include:
- Remembering shared experiences
- Talking about the person who died
- Looking at photographs and keepsakes
- Creating rituals of remembrance
- Carrying special objects
- Reflecting on lessons learned from their loved one
- Finding ways to continue their loved one’s influence in their lives
Research suggests that maintaining these connections can support resilience, emotional wellbeing and healthy adaptation following bereavement.
What’s inside the kit
Kit contents and evidence base
Every item in the Middles Kit has been chosen with care. Together they combine storytelling, remembrance, emotional regulation and creative expression - helping children remember, express feelings, preserve connections and make sense of life after loss.
-
Picture book by Patrice Karst
The Invisible String
How this supports grief
Although many children first meet it in early childhood, The Invisible String remains a powerful bereavement resource for primary-aged children. The story introduces the idea that love remains present even when people are physically apart.
The book helps children:
- Understand that relationships continue after death
- Feel emotionally connected to their loved one
- Explore feelings of separation and missing someone
- Develop language to discuss grief and attachment
Connection to Continuing Bonds Theory
The invisible string serves as a simple but powerful metaphor for continuing relationships, reinforcing the idea that love and connection remain present regardless of physical absence.
-
Small, discreet comfort object
Worry Bear
How this supports grief
The Middles Kit includes a small, discreet Worry Bear that fits comfortably into a child’s hand, pocket, school bag or backpack. Children aged 8–12 may become increasingly aware of differences between themselves and their peers, and may not wish to draw attention to their bereavement - the compact design lets them carry a source of reassurance privately and confidently.
The Worry Bear helps children:
- Manage worries and difficult emotions
- Develop emotional regulation skills
- Feel supported during challenging moments
- Build confidence in school and social situations
- Access comfort without becoming reliant on a large comfort object
Connection to Continuing Bonds Theory
The bear can become a symbolic reminder of love, support and continuing connection. Importantly, it is not intended to replace relationships, but to provide reassurance while encouraging engagement with everyday life and the supportive adults in it.
-
Remembrance activity - two stones, paints and instructions
Memory Stones
How this supports grief
Children are invited to decorate both stones in a way that reflects memories of their loved one. One stone is kept as a personal reminder of their ongoing connection; the second is placed somewhere meaningful - a graveside, a garden, a favourite walk, a beach, or a place associated with special memories.
The activity encourages children to:
- Express emotions creatively
- Reflect on memories
- Develop personal remembrance rituals
- Take part in meaningful family conversations
- Experience agency and choice in how they remember
Connection to Continuing Bonds Theory
Research highlights the importance of symbolic acts and rituals in helping children maintain healthy ongoing relationships with loved ones who have died. The paired stones represent both remembrance and connection, reinforcing that relationships continue even when people are physically absent.
-
Novel by Kereen Getten - recommended by BookTrust
If You Read This
How this supports grief
The Middles Kit includes If You Read This, an award-winning novel recommended by BookTrust for children exploring grief and loss. The story follows twelve-year-old Brie as she navigates life after the death of her mother, discovering clues, letters and memories that help her reconnect with her mother’s love and legacy.
The novel helps children:
- Recognise that grief looks different for everyone
- Explore feelings of sadness, anger, confusion and hope
- Understand that memories can be a source of comfort
- Develop empathy and emotional literacy
- See examples of resilience and coping
Because the story is engaging and age-appropriate, children often connect naturally with its themes without feeling they are reading a “self-help” book.
Connection to Continuing Bonds Theory
The novel’s central theme is that relationships do not end with death. Through memories, messages, stories and her mother’s ongoing influence, Brie learns that love continues to shape her life - reflecting a key principle of Continuing Bonds Theory: healthy grieving involves integrating the relationship into one’s life rather than relinquishing it.
-
Age-appropriate booklet produced by Barnardo’s
Barnardo’s Grief and Loss Booklet
How this supports grief
Each Good Grief Kit includes an age-appropriate grief and loss booklet produced by Barnardo’s - a printed copy, also free to download. Its guidance and activities help children and families:
- Understand common grief reactions
- Explore feelings associated with bereavement
- Develop coping strategies
- Ask questions about death and loss
- Create opportunities for family discussion
- Access further support if needed
Children do not grieve in a linear way. As they grow and reach new developmental stages, they often revisit their grief with new questions and perspectives - the booklet is an ongoing resource families can return to whenever needed. Many adults also worry about saying the “wrong thing” following a bereavement; the booklet’s practical suggestions can increase caregiver confidence and support open, honest conversations about grief.
Connection to Continuing Bonds Theory
The booklet complements the Good Grief activities by encouraging children to explore memories, feelings, relationships and ongoing connections with the person who has died - recognising that grief involves adapting to loss while maintaining meaningful emotional connections.
Supporting good grief
What the Middles Kit supports
The Middles Kit promotes several evidence-informed aspects of bereavement support.
-
Memory and remembrance
Children are encouraged to remember and celebrate the person who has died through storytelling, reading and creative activities.
-
Emotional literacy
Books and activities help children identify, understand and express complex emotions.
-
Continuing connection
The kit creates opportunities for children to maintain healthy bonds with their loved one through memories, rituals and symbolic connection.
-
Resilience and coping
The activities encourage practical coping strategies while reinforcing the importance of support from family, friends and trusted adults.
-
Identity and meaning-making
As children develop their understanding of themselves and the world around them, the kit helps them explore how the person who died continues to influence who they are becoming.
For children and families
How the Middles Kit can help
The Good Grief Middles Kit can help to:
- Reduce feelings of isolation
- Encourage conversations about grief
- Strengthen family communication
- Promote healthy emotional expression
- Support school engagement and wellbeing
- Foster resilience following bereavement
- Create lasting and meaningful memories
Grief is not something to “get over” - it becomes part of a child’s life story. Through remembrance, connection and understanding, children can continue to grow while carrying the love of the person they have lost.
Early support in communities
Why GP practices matter
GPs are often among the first professionals families encounter following a bereavement. Many bereaved children and families do not require specialist intervention, but benefit greatly from accessible, evidence-informed resources that support healthy grief responses.
The Middles Kit has been designed as an early-intervention resource that normalises grief reactions, encourages emotional wellbeing, supports family resilience, promotes conversations about loss and provides practical tools grounded in contemporary bereavement theory. Through partnership with GP practices, Noah’s Story Charity aims to ensure that bereaved children receive timely, compassionate support within their own communities.
Status: Pilot
Where this work is today
The four Good Grief Kits have been developed, and getting them into GP practices is the Year One focus of our 2027–2031 strategy: we will establish our first Good Grief Partner Practice, piloting the kit model, gathering service-user feedback and assessing impact. Expansion into additional GP practices is planned for 2028–2030, shaped by what the pilot teaches us.
If you would like to ask about the Middles Kit in the meantime, please contact us.
The Good Grief series
A natural progression from Littles
The Middles Kit represents a natural progression from Good Grief Littles (ages 3–8), supporting children as they move from concrete understandings of grief towards deeper reflection on memory, identity, meaning and continuing bonds. As young people grow, Good Grief Teens (ages 12–18) carries that support into adolescence.
Request a kit
Interested in Good Grief Middles?
A Good Grief Kit costs £22. Tell us that Good Grief Middles (ages 8-12) is the kit you are asking about and we will come back to you about how to get one. The same short form covers all four kits.